When I get angry I cry.  Not because I want to get my way at any cost, but because my emotions take over and spill out my eyeballs.  This is a totally involuntary reflex.  I've tried to conquer it in several ways-staring, blinking rapidly, staring up at the ceiling, holding my breath until I feel like passing out, tapping my foot, tapping my hand...nothing works!  It might sound childish but I seriously can't help myself.

The reason I bring this up is because I thought I'd be dealing with myself in this state this evening as I brought up the idea of a trip to Mitchell.  I told him months ago (yes, I told him and if you know my husband you'd likely understand why I didn't ask him) that after Hadley turns 1 we, the two of us, are getting on an air plane and going somewhere.  Alone.  We recently received an invite to my step sisters wedding in the Dominican in April.  7 nights, all inclusive...perfect timing.  It's not the alone time/get away/late honeymoon I had envisioned, but pretty close I guess.  Mitch is worried about the cost, and I totally get it, it's a fair bit of money to spend BUT in eleven years we have NEVER gone on a vacation like this.  Sure, we've gone on holidays all over the Kootenays that have been fantastic, we've gone on several camping excursions, plenty of family vacations but never a romantic getaway with just us.  We don't often go out on dates (another bone of contention) and often 'date night' is us with the kids eating at a family friendly restaurant.  I know I should be grateful, and I truly am, that I bagged the only man out there (at least I choose to believe it) that would rather spend time with his family than bugger off for a week of kid-free lounging on a beach.  I know how lucky I am to have scored that, and I also recognize that this whole rant makes me sound at least a little bit bratty, but Come On!  Eleven years!  I don't recall ever in the last decade trying to coerce him into a vacation that requires a passport.  I will say, I didn't get to the angry crying phase, probably because the kids were playing underfoot and Mitch was getting ready to go out.

At this point, you might be wondering where Mitch had to go....My friends, he went out to play pool with a friend.  Yes, he did...and I was encouraging of it (so what if it's partially because I have a cold and don't feel like doing anything other than watching Americas Next Top Model under a pile of blankets in the basement).  I can recognize the importance of going out once in a while to chill with a buddy.  Mitch considered staying in tonight in an effort to, wait for it, save money.  In the end, he called to invite another friend to tag along, but he was trapped taking his wife to the movies!  See, my love, other husbands take their wives out!

There are few things about my husband that bother me, but his fear of debt is an issue that rears it's ugly head every few  months.  I appreciate his concerns and value his vigilance to debt repayment, he has our best interest at heart (interest...did I pun!?).  I also feel very strongly that we can afford to treat ourselves to some much needed alone time every 10 or so years.  I feel it's important to the well being of our relationship to reconnect as a twosome so we, so I, can be better at being a partner and parent.  I need to just be me, not 'mom' every now and again.  I would like for my husband to understand that, even though he feels differently.

(I wrote this last night but wasn't sure I wanted to post it, but I figured why not.)