About 6 months ago I came across an interesting post in a mom group on facebook.  It was from girl putting a call out to any moms that had anything to donate to her friend who had given birth to a baby boy that day, just hours after finding out she was pregnant.  Yes, it was a real live case of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant!"  My husband was immediately skeptical..."Sounds like she just wants free stuff..."  I was shocked to hear of a real instance of a person not knowing they were pregnant, I mean how can you make it 9 months preggo and not have a single indication?  Even the 'fluffiest' lady must feel uncomfortably round by then!  I dug out an old diaper bag and put in the few blue things I had accumulated after having 3 girls (there is A LOT of pink stuff at my house)  and gave her the old infant car seat that had been gathering cobwebs in the garage.  I was happy to help, and couldn't imagine what must be going through that poor mama's head. Having a planned birth can be a whirlwind, but not knowing...I just can't imagine!

I have since noticed a trend in these facebook groups: frequently there are moms-to-be, or their friends, asking for charity.  I am not opposed to giving a helping hand, what bothers me is that in almost every case I've noticed the moms are due within a couple of months and have NOTHING!  Usually one of the following lines accompanies the post:  "She's really young." or "She doesn't have much family." or "She's single."  What have these women been doing the past 6,7, 8 months???  Why have they not been getting their nest ready?  Why have they not been scouring for whatever they can get if they are in such financial dire straights?  What did they think was going to happen at the end of the 9 months of carrying that little bundle inside of them?  And, yes, I realize how incredibly judgemental I am coming off as right now, but I frankly don't care!  I'm not just seeing one or two of these situations, but several withing the last couple of weeks.  I totally get that people fall on hard times, but when you are bringing another life into the world you are the one responsible for it.  Not the rest of the world.  However it happened, you got pregnant now it's time to do right by that baby.

Perhaps what irks me the most about these situations is, if you can't prepare for this babies arrival in the 9 months you have to do so, what kind of life are you going to give that child?  Again, yes, judgemental...and yes, some of them I'm sure will be great moms...but let's be realistic here.  I am definitely not saying I'm a perfect parent or that I have it all figured out,  but I was prepared for each of my children.  I'm not saying I'm better than anyone because I didn't need hand outs (I like free stuff too!) but I made choices appropriate for my situation.  If I had had an unplanned pregnancy I would have done what was best for my baby, no matter what.  If I couldn't have supported myself before baby, I would have given a long, hard thought to if I could have supported myself with a baby.  

My point is this- it is simply not fair to rely on the generosity of strangers to provide for a baby you made because you couldn't keep your legs together, or protect yourself adequately.  It should be your responsibility to provide for that helpless bundle should you decide to bring it into the world, not someone else's.

(For the third time, I know, I'm being a tad judgemental...it is completely your choice whether or not you continue checking out my posts!  I can't guarantee I'll get any better!)

Fall is officially here in Red Deer.  Leaves are changing colour and falling from the branches, the air is cool and crisp and has that smell of burning that for some reason is almost addicting to me.  This is my all time favourite time of year.  From the colours to the smells to the fashion-yay for jeans, hoodies and boots- I just can't get enough.  If there was a place that existed where it was this way year long, I think I'd move there!  School has settled into routine for my girls and is something we all look forward to.  And in a few short weeks...HALLOWEEN!!

Mitch dragged out the three Rubbermaid bins from their appropriate home under the stairs and yesterday we dug through finding all the treasures forgotten about from last year.  Costumes, spiders, spooks, skeletons and a surprising amount of pumpkins and window clings.  I may need an intervention.  Even though we are barely through the first week of October, our house is ready for the big night!  Which got me to thinking about holidays in general and how things have changed since I was a kid.

When I was a kid...kids were allowed to dress up for Halloween in any costume they chose (excluding a full face mask at school, for actual rational reasons), they were allowed to call Halloween "Halloween" without anyone being offended.  Trick or Treating was done outside, door to door while wearing a variety of reflective safety decals and often without a parent (once we got to a certain age at least) and fun was had by all.

Now, in schools, you may dress up-but only in non offending, non scary costumes.  We call it "Dress Up Day" or "Black and Orange Day" (*gag*).  Trick or Treating is often done at the mall (a total nightmare!). There is also a new fad called Trunk or Treating, where parents pull into a parking lot and you go from car to car with your kids.  Are we not going a bit overboard with the safety and non offending terms?  (FYI-I am taking my girls to the Trunk or Treat thing but only because it is 2 days BEFORE Halloween, they'll reap the rewards of some extra candy...some of which I WILL eat...and we never really get any trick or treaters at our house.  We are NOT going because I want to ensure my children aren't over run by the demons in the night, my girls can hold their own!)

Christmas is a whole other topic so for now I won't touch on that one today (but stay tuned for that rant another day!) other than to say if they start calling it "Red and Green Day"  I might lose my mind.

I just can't wrap my mind around this whole 'we can't offend anyone' mindset Canadians seem to have adopted over the last 20 some years.  We are supposed to be a multi-cultural mosaic of a nation and we are getting so hung up on keeping everyone else's traditions intact that we are forgetting our own.  I am all in favour for someone celebrating what they want and only want the same respect in return.  Recently a situation came up at a certain board meeting I was a part of: we were discussing whether or not the kids would be allowed to wear their costumes to school.  "What about the children that don't celebrate this holiday?" someone asked.  "What about the children that do?"  I replied.

Growing up I lived next door to a family that was Jehovah's Witness.  Jessica was the same age as me and when there was holiday stuff at school (Valentines, Halloween, Christmas concert etc.) she either didn't participate and was given something else to work on or she didn't come to school that day.  Simple.  Right? To the best of my knowledge, her parents never made a stink about being the minority and never ruined everyone else's good time.  They stayed true to their beliefs and didn't infringe on anyone else's.

In the end, I guess all I can do is vent, regroup and play nice.  And for the record I refuse, RE-FUSE, to call it 'Black and Orange Day!'