About 6 months ago I came across an interesting post in a mom group on facebook.  It was from girl putting a call out to any moms that had anything to donate to her friend who had given birth to a baby boy that day, just hours after finding out she was pregnant.  Yes, it was a real live case of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant!"  My husband was immediately skeptical..."Sounds like she just wants free stuff..."  I was shocked to hear of a real instance of a person not knowing they were pregnant, I mean how can you make it 9 months preggo and not have a single indication?  Even the 'fluffiest' lady must feel uncomfortably round by then!  I dug out an old diaper bag and put in the few blue things I had accumulated after having 3 girls (there is A LOT of pink stuff at my house)  and gave her the old infant car seat that had been gathering cobwebs in the garage.  I was happy to help, and couldn't imagine what must be going through that poor mama's head. Having a planned birth can be a whirlwind, but not knowing...I just can't imagine!

I have since noticed a trend in these facebook groups: frequently there are moms-to-be, or their friends, asking for charity.  I am not opposed to giving a helping hand, what bothers me is that in almost every case I've noticed the moms are due within a couple of months and have NOTHING!  Usually one of the following lines accompanies the post:  "She's really young." or "She doesn't have much family." or "She's single."  What have these women been doing the past 6,7, 8 months???  Why have they not been getting their nest ready?  Why have they not been scouring for whatever they can get if they are in such financial dire straights?  What did they think was going to happen at the end of the 9 months of carrying that little bundle inside of them?  And, yes, I realize how incredibly judgemental I am coming off as right now, but I frankly don't care!  I'm not just seeing one or two of these situations, but several withing the last couple of weeks.  I totally get that people fall on hard times, but when you are bringing another life into the world you are the one responsible for it.  Not the rest of the world.  However it happened, you got pregnant now it's time to do right by that baby.

Perhaps what irks me the most about these situations is, if you can't prepare for this babies arrival in the 9 months you have to do so, what kind of life are you going to give that child?  Again, yes, judgemental...and yes, some of them I'm sure will be great moms...but let's be realistic here.  I am definitely not saying I'm a perfect parent or that I have it all figured out,  but I was prepared for each of my children.  I'm not saying I'm better than anyone because I didn't need hand outs (I like free stuff too!) but I made choices appropriate for my situation.  If I had had an unplanned pregnancy I would have done what was best for my baby, no matter what.  If I couldn't have supported myself before baby, I would have given a long, hard thought to if I could have supported myself with a baby.  

My point is this- it is simply not fair to rely on the generosity of strangers to provide for a baby you made because you couldn't keep your legs together, or protect yourself adequately.  It should be your responsibility to provide for that helpless bundle should you decide to bring it into the world, not someone else's.

(For the third time, I know, I'm being a tad judgemental...it is completely your choice whether or not you continue checking out my posts!  I can't guarantee I'll get any better!)